Category: MEDIATION

give the divorce process the time it needs
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Authored by , re: Family & Divorce, LAW RELATED ARTICLES, MEDIATION, on .
give the divorce process the time it needs | Jennifer Safian

{3:12 minutes to read} Instant gratification… isn’t that what many of us expect in all areas of our lives? Professional as well as personal? And when we cannot get whatever it is we want at that very moment, we may often be left feeling anxious and tense. Rushing to get an instant result, however, can prevent us from making good decisions. By the time we realize that we may not have given ourselves the extra time to think things out properly, it’s too late, and we cannot take back what we created or said by wanting it “NOW.” And even if we can, we may suffer negative consequences from having to undo what we rushed into.

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Culling Down To The Essentials
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  Culling Down To The Essentials | Ada Hasloecher

{3:36 minutes to read} Recently a very, very close friend of our family passed away. She was my mother’s oldest and dearest friend. She was family. Her health had been deteriorating of late, but her death came as quite a shock to those of us who knew and loved her. We all called her “Darling,” because that’s what she called everyone, AND she looked like Ava and Zsa Zsa Gabor and Ivana Trump all rolled into one.

Click here to read Ada Hasloecher's full article...

Co-Mediation: Does it Make Sense?
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Authored by , re: Family & Divorce, LAW RELATED ARTICLES, MEDIATION, on .
Co-Mediation: Does it Make Sense? | Gary Shaffer

{3:18 minutes to read} Mediations come in different flavors. Most typical is a single mediator who meets with the parties and includes joint as well as individual sessions. Co-mediation is sometimes used in divorce or family matters, usually with a male and female mediator working with a male and female couple. The thought is that such an arrangement will lessen the possibility or the perception of gender bias. Experienced mediators are careful to avoid any bias as best they can or are at least able to pick up when a particular spouse/partner is sensing some bias.

Click here to read Gary Shaffer's full article...

Is There Room For Other Professionals in Mediation?
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Authored by , re: Family & Divorce, MEDIATION, Miscellaneous, on .
Is There Room For Other Professionals in Mediation? | by Rachel Alexander

{3:18 minutes to read} People going through divorce often discover they need more help than they initially imagined. Not only are they divorcing, but they now need:

  • Their own health insurance;
  • Life insurance to secure child support/alimony obligations;
  • Therapy to support the period of adjustment;
  • A real estate agent to list the home or find a new one;
  • A mortgage broker to refinance the home;

Click Here to Read Rachel Alexander's Full Article....

Parenting Arrangements for Special Needs Children
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Authored by , re: Family & Divorce, MEDIATION, on .
Parenting Arrangements for Special Needs Children | Susan Ingram

{3:32 minutes to read} When I’m mediating with parents who have a special needs child, I view myself as being on a “fact finding mission.” What do I mean by that? In addition to performing my other mediator responsibilities, my role is to gather as much information as I can about the couple’s special needs child, and how that child’s disability relates to each of the parents’ lives, as well as to any other siblings in the family. Clearly, these family relationships are often more complex than families without a special needs child.

Click here to read Susan Ingram's full article...

Why Do People Get Divorced?
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Authored by , re: Family & Divorce, MEDIATION, on .

{6:12 minutes to read} First, it should be said, no one divorces lightly. No one has ever walked into my office and declared: “We heard there was a special on divorce. We weren’t considering it, but this deal is too incredible to pass up!” No one comes in because they’ve just had a bad day or are bored. Couples thinking about divorce are despairing. Divorce is an action of last resort.

Click here to read Rachel Alexander's full article...

From Sex in the City to Divorce in the Suburbs: Sarah Jessica Parker Shows Us What NOT to Strive For
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Authored by , re: Family & Divorce, MEDIATION, on .

Sarah Jessica Parker has another critically acclaimed half-hour show on HBO, but this time she is exploring the end of relationships rather than the beginning. Divorce finished its first season on December 11, but is currently available to stream. Though fictional, I found many aspects of the series to be strikingly real. For example, Sarah Jessica Parker’s character Frances expresses the desire to have as peaceful a divorce as possible, opting to go through mediation instead of litigation. Frances’ husband Robert (played by Thomas Haden Church) initially agrees, but is soon swayed by a friend to skip mediation and hires a litigator instead, leaving Frances at the mediator’s office by herself for the first session.

Click here to read Andrea Vacca's full article...

How Life Insurance and Divorce Can Impact Retirement Planning – Part 2
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Authored by , re: Family & Divorce, Financial Planning & Insurance, MEDIATION, on .
 How Life Insurance and Divorce Can Impact Retirement Planning – Part 2 | Ada Hasloecher

{3:54 minutes to read} The scenarios Steve Kobrin outlined in Part 1 of this series are something to which most married couples don’t give much thought until the time is upon them to make the decision. At that time, it may be too late to make the choice they would prefer. If they were to take Option #1 (and who wouldn’t want that – you receive the maximum amount the plan would pay out on a monthly basis), the participant is probably at an age where it is unlikely they could obtain a substantial and affordable life insurance policy to cover the difference, were they to die once in payout status. Therefore, they may likely opt for Option #2.

Click here to read Ada Hasloecher's full article...

Special Needs Children and Parenting Discussions
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Authored by , re: Family & Divorce, MEDIATION, Parenting, on .
Special Needs Children and Parenting Discussions | Susan Ingram

{3:06 minutes to read} When couples with normal-developing kids are separating or divorcing, we can spend quite a bit of time during mediation discussing their parenting arrangements. Among the many subjects that need to be addressed are: what the weekday and weekend parenting schedule will look like; how scheduling for holidays and summer vacations will be handled; and in what ways the scheduling may need to reflect the specific work circumstances of the parents.

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How Do We Understand Family During Divorce?
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Authored by , re: Family & Divorce, MEDIATION, Miscellaneous, on .
How Do We Understand Family During Divorce? by Rachel Alexander

{4:18 minutes to read} How do we understand family in a way that’s useful during divorce? First, it’s helpful to deconstruct and decide exactly and specifically what family means to you. When you spend some time “asking into” your initial wants, you can unearth your root values. For example, is it important to you to sleep under the same roof as your children? Of course that’s understandable, but what if we look further into it?

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How Life Insurance and Divorce Can Impact Retirement Planning – Part 1
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Authored by , re: Family & Divorce, Financial Planning & Insurance, MEDIATION, on .
How Life Insurance and Divorce Can Impact Retirement Planning – Part 1 | Ada Hasloecher

{3:18 minutes to read} Life Insurance and how it relates to retirement plans is not something most couples give much thought to. The following articles, which I collaborated on with Steven H. Kobrin, a life insurance specialist, provide some insight and things to consider. Life insurance can play a pivotal role in retirement planning.

Click here to read Ada Hasloecher's full article...

Divorcing Parents and Their Special Needs Children
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Authored by , re: Family, Family & Divorce, MEDIATION, Parenting, on .
Divorcing Parents and Their Special Needs Children | Susan Ingram

{3:12 minutes to read}  I just finished a mediation session with a divorcing couple who have a special needs child, in addition to two typically-developing children. While divorces involving special needs children are often complicated and involve more issues than the “normal” divorce, I find helping these families to be especially rewarding.

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I’m Right — and You’re Wrong!
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 I’m Right — and You’re Wrong! | Susan Ingram

{2:36 minutes to read}  I just attended a monthly peer group meeting with my mediation colleagues. One of the subjects that came up and generated a lively discussion was the need we humans have “to be right,” which typically means that the other person must be wrong when he or she doesn’t agree with us.

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What Are We Celebrating Here?
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Authored by , re: Family & Divorce, MEDIATION, on .
What Are We Celebrating Here? | Rachel Alexander

{3:54 minutes to read} The holidays, now encroaching practically on back-to-school week, are here again.  For many, ringing in the cheer has been replaced with wringing of the hands. The holidays are difficult for most of us at one time or another, but when you are in the throes of a pending or recent divorce, they can be especially hard. With the holiday season almost upon us, I have been thinking about what we are celebrating and what it means to be connected to one another.

Click here to read Rachel Alexander's full article.....

 

A Wife’s Fervent Plea for Mediation
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Authored by , re: Family & Divorce, MEDIATION, on .
A Wife’s Fervent Plea for Mediation | Ada Hasloecher

{4:42 minutes to read} Every once in awhile, a client will send me something that goes right to the heart of mediation. I’m working with a couple who have been back and forth with threats to stop and go the lawyer route – even though they both know it is not in their best interest to do so. After a rather torrid session, the wife wrote a letter to the husband, and she agreed to let me share it with you. Of course I changed their names and anything very personal to them. If this isn’t a plea for sanity, I don’t know what is.

Click here to read Ada Hasloecher's full article...

Curiosity: The Little Word that Could
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Authored by , re: Family & Divorce, MEDIATION, on .
Curiosity: The Little Word that Could | Rachel Alexander

{5:80 minutes to read} Curiosity: A simple word that can unlock possibilities, shift paradigms, and free us from the bondage of our own “rightness.” In Focus Oriented Therapy, we are called to settle into the here and now, sense into our body, check in with ourselves with a “childlike curiosity.” This invitation, this language, has amazed me. I have become enthralled with the concept of curiosity! It asks such a complete departure from unconscious living. It holds an almost touching possibility of compassionate attention.

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Nobody Said Mediation Would Be Easy
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Authored by , re: Family & Divorce, LAW RELATED ARTICLES, MEDIATION, on .
Nobody Said Mediation Would Be Easy | Clare Piro

{3:54 minutes to read} Since I write so often about the benefits of mediation, I think it’s time that I acknowledge something I often share with clients at the initial consultation. After I have explained the basics of mediation, I say that I think mediation can be a hard thing to do and commend them for making that choice. And while I firmly believe that it is the best option to resolve conflict, I’ll admit it’s still not an easy process.

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Have Seniors Become Their Own Worst Enemy?
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Authored by , re: Elder Care, MEDIATION, on .
Have Seniors Become Their Own Worst Enemy? by Sig Cohen

I used to like being told I look great for my age. It was a super ego-booster, made me feel special. But what did that remark really mean? It meant that the person making the remark has a stereotypical view of what older people SHOULD look like. And I didn’t fit their stereotype. It wasn’t really a compliment. It was a remark tainted with prejudice.

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elder care mediation: ensure everyone’s voice is heard
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Authored by , re: Family & Divorce, LAW RELATED ARTICLES, MEDIATION, on .
elder care mediation: ensure everyone’s voice is heard | Jennifer Safian

{3:60 minutes to read} With an increasingly aging population, people are living well into their nineties. Unfortunately, with age comes more health issues—physical as well as mental. The increasing needs of the elderly often cause rifts among their children as to how to best manage the care of their parents. Often, old dynamics and tensions between siblings reappear as they find themselves facing a family crisis, causing difficulties in reaching a consensus on what the best approach may be to resolve that crisis.

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Payments in Addition to Child Support???
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Authored by , re: Family & Divorce, LAW RELATED ARTICLES, MEDIATION, on .
Payments in Addition to Child Support??? | Clare Piro

{3.36 minutes to read} I try to avoid jargon when working with clients. When I’m not successful, it’s easy to spot by the looks on clients’ faces when they have no idea what I’m talking about. One of these is the phrase “add-ons to child support,” which I tend to use before offering an explanation. This is a very common phrase to professionals who work with separating parents. For the parents themselves, not so much.

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finding a balance for parent and adult child communication
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Authored by , re: Family & Divorce, LAW RELATED ARTICLES, MEDIATION, on .
finding a balance for parent and adult child communication | Jennifer Safian

{3:12 minutes to read} Myriam, an elderly lady, was referred to me by an acquaintance who thought I may be of help in facilitating a difficult dialogue between her and her married son, Scott. It was evident to me from the moment I met them that they had enormous love for each other. It was also obvious that they were both very tense and concerned about the outcome of the session. Each tried to explain how it seemed that every attempt Myriam made to reach out to her son caused enormous stress to both of them. According to Scott, Miriam’s attempts were much too frequent. Myriam said that he “never” answered her calls and that she “never” saw him!

Click here to read Jennifer Safian's full article...

Why I Provide an Initial Consultation at No Charge
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Authored by , re: Family & Divorce, LAW RELATED ARTICLES, MEDIATION, on .
Why I Provide an Initial Consultation at No Charge | Clare Piro

{3:42 minutes to read} A couple of years ago, I was a member of a panel discussion regarding client intake in mediation and collaborative matters. The audience was primarily attorneys, and I mentioned that I provided an initial consultation at no charge. A matrimonial attorney, who probably had just a few more years experience than I, was incredulous. She said that she hadn’t given a free consultation since she was a “baby attorney.” I guess I should have been insulted, but I wasn’t. I explained that when I represented individual clients in a matrimonial matter, I always billed for a consultation. At that meeting, we discussed substantive matters, and I provided valuable information over the course of a 1½- to 2-hour consultation.

Click here to read Clare Piro's full article...

A Friend and Colleague’s Thoughts on Maintenance
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A Friend and Colleague’s Thoughts on Maintenance | Ada Hasloecher

My friend and mediation colleague, Clare Piro, wrote an excellent blog article on “Maintenance” this month. She perfectly articulated the issues and options available to our clients when we discuss the whole concept of maintenance. I asked her if I can post it on my site to share with my readers, and she graciously allowed me to do so.

Click here to read Ada Hasloecher's full article...

The Virtue of Vulnerability
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Authored by , re: Elder Care, MEDIATION, on .

On September 29, 2016, I sat riveted as Judge Michael Aloi of West Virginia encouraged mediators to become more vulnerable. The message, the messenger, and the audience’s response were stunning. The message was surprising because mediators are usually encouraged to be neutral. Judge Aloi reminded us that most of our clients are experiencing deep pain. Our visible empathy and deep listening can help them feel safer—show them they’ve been heard. Judge Aloi said our vulnerability shows we connect with them. It telegraphs, “You are important to me. You matter.”

Click here to read Carolyn Parr's full article

Bottom Lines: Don’t Reveal, But Do Discuss
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Authored by , re: Business Law, LAW RELATED ARTICLES, MEDIATION, on .
Bottom Lines: Don’t Reveal, But Do Discuss | Gary Shaffer

{3:54 minutes to read} In my last blog I discussed why you should not reveal your bottom line during a mediation. You can read that here. My teaser line at the end was that it’s important for attorneys and clients to discuss bottom lines. And that discussion may have to occur several times. Parties generally enter a mediation with very different ideas as to what a case is worth or what it should settle for. The plaintiff thinks the defendant should take out the checkbook and be prepared to write a check with lots of zeros. The defendant thinks that any check should contain only zeros.

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What are the 4 Elements of Divorce?
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Authored by , re: Family & Divorce, MEDIATION, on .
What are the 4 Elements of Divorce? | Susan Ingram

{3:30 minutes to read} When most people are going through a divorce they don’t think about the various elements that come into play during this difficult process. They are often overwhelmed with emotions (anger, resentment and sadness, among them) that come up during this extremely difficult time of their lives. They often become stuck in the disputed details of their lives, and are unable to see the Big Picture of what is in play and thus understand the essential interaction between the 4 elements of divorce.

Click here to read Susan Ingram's full article...