Category: MEDIATION

Special Needs Children and Parenting Discussions
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Authored by , re: Family & Divorce, MEDIATION, Parenting, on .
Special Needs Children and Parenting Discussions | Susan Ingram

{3:06 minutes to read} When couples with normal-developing kids are separating or divorcing, we can spend quite a bit of time during mediation discussing their parenting arrangements. Among the many subjects that need to be addressed are: what the weekday and weekend parenting schedule will look like; how scheduling for holidays and summer vacations will be handled; and in what ways the scheduling may need to reflect the specific work circumstances of the parents.

Click here to read Susan Ingram's full article...

How Do We Understand Family During Divorce?
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Authored by , re: Family & Divorce, MEDIATION, Miscellaneous, on .
How Do We Understand Family During Divorce? by Rachel Alexander

{4:18 minutes to read} How do we understand family in a way that’s useful during divorce? First, it’s helpful to deconstruct and decide exactly and specifically what family means to you. When you spend some time “asking into” your initial wants, you can unearth your root values. For example, is it important to you to sleep under the same roof as your children? Of course that’s understandable, but what if we look further into it?

Click here to read Rachel Alexander's full article....

How Life Insurance and Divorce Can Impact Retirement Planning – Part 1
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Authored by , re: Family & Divorce, Financial Planning & Insurance, MEDIATION, on .
How Life Insurance and Divorce Can Impact Retirement Planning – Part 1 | Ada Hasloecher

{3:18 minutes to read} Life Insurance and how it relates to retirement plans is not something most couples give much thought to. The following articles, which I collaborated on with Steven H. Kobrin, a life insurance specialist, provide some insight and things to consider. Life insurance can play a pivotal role in retirement planning.

Click here to read Ada Hasloecher's full article...

Divorcing Parents and Their Special Needs Children
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Authored by , re: Family, Family & Divorce, MEDIATION, Parenting, on .
Divorcing Parents and Their Special Needs Children | Susan Ingram

{3:12 minutes to read}  I just finished a mediation session with a divorcing couple who have a special needs child, in addition to two typically-developing children. While divorces involving special needs children are often complicated and involve more issues than the “normal” divorce, I find helping these families to be especially rewarding.

Click here to read Susan Ingram's full article...

I’m Right — and You’re Wrong!
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Authored by , re: MEDIATION, on .
 I’m Right — and You’re Wrong! | Susan Ingram

{2:36 minutes to read}  I just attended a monthly peer group meeting with my mediation colleagues. One of the subjects that came up and generated a lively discussion was the need we humans have “to be right,” which typically means that the other person must be wrong when he or she doesn’t agree with us.

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What Are We Celebrating Here?
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Authored by , re: Family & Divorce, MEDIATION, on .
What Are We Celebrating Here? | Rachel Alexander

{3:54 minutes to read} The holidays, now encroaching practically on back-to-school week, are here again.  For many, ringing in the cheer has been replaced with wringing of the hands. The holidays are difficult for most of us at one time or another, but when you are in the throes of a pending or recent divorce, they can be especially hard. With the holiday season almost upon us, I have been thinking about what we are celebrating and what it means to be connected to one another.

Click here to read Rachel Alexander's full article.....

 

A Wife’s Fervent Plea for Mediation
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Authored by , re: Family & Divorce, MEDIATION, on .
A Wife’s Fervent Plea for Mediation | Ada Hasloecher

{4:42 minutes to read} Every once in awhile, a client will send me something that goes right to the heart of mediation. I’m working with a couple who have been back and forth with threats to stop and go the lawyer route – even though they both know it is not in their best interest to do so. After a rather torrid session, the wife wrote a letter to the husband, and she agreed to let me share it with you. Of course I changed their names and anything very personal to them. If this isn’t a plea for sanity, I don’t know what is.

Click here to read Ada Hasloecher's full article...

Curiosity: The Little Word that Could
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Authored by , re: Family & Divorce, MEDIATION, on .
Curiosity: The Little Word that Could | Rachel Alexander

{5:80 minutes to read} Curiosity: A simple word that can unlock possibilities, shift paradigms, and free us from the bondage of our own “rightness.” In Focus Oriented Therapy, we are called to settle into the here and now, sense into our body, check in with ourselves with a “childlike curiosity.” This invitation, this language, has amazed me. I have become enthralled with the concept of curiosity! It asks such a complete departure from unconscious living. It holds an almost touching possibility of compassionate attention.

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Nobody Said Mediation Would Be Easy
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Authored by , re: Family & Divorce, LAW RELATED ARTICLES, MEDIATION, on .
Nobody Said Mediation Would Be Easy | Clare Piro

{3:54 minutes to read} Since I write so often about the benefits of mediation, I think it’s time that I acknowledge something I often share with clients at the initial consultation. After I have explained the basics of mediation, I say that I think mediation can be a hard thing to do and commend them for making that choice. And while I firmly believe that it is the best option to resolve conflict, I’ll admit it’s still not an easy process.

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Have Seniors Become Their Own Worst Enemy?
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Authored by , re: Elder Care, MEDIATION, on .
Have Seniors Become Their Own Worst Enemy? by Sig Cohen

I used to like being told I look great for my age. It was a super ego-booster, made me feel special. But what did that remark really mean? It meant that the person making the remark has a stereotypical view of what older people SHOULD look like. And I didn’t fit their stereotype. It wasn’t really a compliment. It was a remark tainted with prejudice.

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elder care mediation: ensure everyone’s voice is heard
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Authored by , re: Family & Divorce, LAW RELATED ARTICLES, MEDIATION, on .
elder care mediation: ensure everyone’s voice is heard | Jennifer Safian

{3:60 minutes to read} With an increasingly aging population, people are living well into their nineties. Unfortunately, with age comes more health issues—physical as well as mental. The increasing needs of the elderly often cause rifts among their children as to how to best manage the care of their parents. Often, old dynamics and tensions between siblings reappear as they find themselves facing a family crisis, causing difficulties in reaching a consensus on what the best approach may be to resolve that crisis.

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Payments in Addition to Child Support???
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Authored by , re: Family & Divorce, LAW RELATED ARTICLES, MEDIATION, on .
Payments in Addition to Child Support??? | Clare Piro

{3.36 minutes to read} I try to avoid jargon when working with clients. When I’m not successful, it’s easy to spot by the looks on clients’ faces when they have no idea what I’m talking about. One of these is the phrase “add-ons to child support,” which I tend to use before offering an explanation. This is a very common phrase to professionals who work with separating parents. For the parents themselves, not so much.

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finding a balance for parent and adult child communication
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Authored by , re: Family & Divorce, LAW RELATED ARTICLES, MEDIATION, on .
finding a balance for parent and adult child communication | Jennifer Safian

{3:12 minutes to read} Myriam, an elderly lady, was referred to me by an acquaintance who thought I may be of help in facilitating a difficult dialogue between her and her married son, Scott. It was evident to me from the moment I met them that they had enormous love for each other. It was also obvious that they were both very tense and concerned about the outcome of the session. Each tried to explain how it seemed that every attempt Myriam made to reach out to her son caused enormous stress to both of them. According to Scott, Miriam’s attempts were much too frequent. Myriam said that he “never” answered her calls and that she “never” saw him!

Click here to read Jennifer Safian's full article...

Why I Provide an Initial Consultation at No Charge
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Authored by , re: Family & Divorce, LAW RELATED ARTICLES, MEDIATION, on .
Why I Provide an Initial Consultation at No Charge | Clare Piro

{3:42 minutes to read} A couple of years ago, I was a member of a panel discussion regarding client intake in mediation and collaborative matters. The audience was primarily attorneys, and I mentioned that I provided an initial consultation at no charge. A matrimonial attorney, who probably had just a few more years experience than I, was incredulous. She said that she hadn’t given a free consultation since she was a “baby attorney.” I guess I should have been insulted, but I wasn’t. I explained that when I represented individual clients in a matrimonial matter, I always billed for a consultation. At that meeting, we discussed substantive matters, and I provided valuable information over the course of a 1½- to 2-hour consultation.

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A Friend and Colleague’s Thoughts on Maintenance
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Authored by , re: MEDIATION, on .
A Friend and Colleague’s Thoughts on Maintenance | Ada Hasloecher

My friend and mediation colleague, Clare Piro, wrote an excellent blog article on “Maintenance” this month. She perfectly articulated the issues and options available to our clients when we discuss the whole concept of maintenance. I asked her if I can post it on my site to share with my readers, and she graciously allowed me to do so.

Click here to read Ada Hasloecher's full article...

The Virtue of Vulnerability
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Authored by , re: Elder Care, MEDIATION, on .

On September 29, 2016, I sat riveted as Judge Michael Aloi of West Virginia encouraged mediators to become more vulnerable. The message, the messenger, and the audience’s response were stunning. The message was surprising because mediators are usually encouraged to be neutral. Judge Aloi reminded us that most of our clients are experiencing deep pain. Our visible empathy and deep listening can help them feel safer—show them they’ve been heard. Judge Aloi said our vulnerability shows we connect with them. It telegraphs, “You are important to me. You matter.”

Click here to read Carolyn Parr's full article

Bottom Lines: Don’t Reveal, But Do Discuss
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Authored by , re: Business Law, LAW RELATED ARTICLES, MEDIATION, on .
Bottom Lines: Don’t Reveal, But Do Discuss | Gary Shaffer

{3:54 minutes to read} In my last blog I discussed why you should not reveal your bottom line during a mediation. You can read that here. My teaser line at the end was that it’s important for attorneys and clients to discuss bottom lines. And that discussion may have to occur several times. Parties generally enter a mediation with very different ideas as to what a case is worth or what it should settle for. The plaintiff thinks the defendant should take out the checkbook and be prepared to write a check with lots of zeros. The defendant thinks that any check should contain only zeros.

Click here to read Gary Shaffer's full article...

What are the 4 Elements of Divorce?
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Authored by , re: Family & Divorce, MEDIATION, on .
What are the 4 Elements of Divorce? | Susan Ingram

{3:30 minutes to read} When most people are going through a divorce they don’t think about the various elements that come into play during this difficult process. They are often overwhelmed with emotions (anger, resentment and sadness, among them) that come up during this extremely difficult time of their lives. They often become stuck in the disputed details of their lives, and are unable to see the Big Picture of what is in play and thus understand the essential interaction between the 4 elements of divorce.

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A Shift to the Extreme is Everywhere
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Authored by , re: Family & Divorce, LAW RELATED ARTICLES, MEDIATION, on .
A Shift to the Extreme is Everywhere | Clare Piro

{3:12 minutes to read} My first ritual of the fall entails my husband and I getting a flu shot, going out for brunch, and then going shopping for Halloween. Just in case there is an area of the yard or a surface in the house that is not already adorned with Halloween decor, we are always on the lookout for interesting pieces. At this point we seek out things that are unique, clever, or attractive, like some vintage pieces or Day of the Dead figurines.

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Who Is Frida Kahlo and How Did She Influence My Mediation?
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Authored by , re: Family & Divorce, MEDIATION, on .
Who Is Frida Kahlo and How Did She Influence My Mediation? | Ada Hasloecher

{4:24 minutes to read} Frida Kahlo de Rivera was a prolific Mexican artist, political activist and fascinating character. She was born in 1907 and died in 1954. After suffering a debilitating injury in a bus accident as a young girl, she was bed-bound for years. In order to cheer her up, her father bought her an easel and paints, and thus began her life’s work.

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The High-Wire Act Called Mediation
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Authored by , re: Elder Care, MEDIATION, on .
The High-Wire Act Called Mediation by Sig Cohen

I once heard an experienced mediator comment: “I care, but I don’t care that much.” I never quite grasped his meaning. Was he suggesting that a mediation session is entirely in the hands of the parties, and if they can’t reach an agreement within a specific period of time, tough luck? Or did he feel that, despite how close the parties got to an agreement, if an impasse arose, he’d be damned if he’d fall on his sword to help them reach the finish line? Not always, but in many mediations, I feel like I’m one of the Flying Wallendas, balanced on a high wire trying to accomplish two things:

  1. Help the parties reach the far end of the wire (settling the case); and
  2. Not fall off the tightrope (i.e. keeping a party from leaving the session).

Click here to read Sig Cohen's full article

The Gray Divorce – Part 2
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Authored by , re: Family & Divorce, MEDIATION, on .
The Gray Divorce – Part 2 | Susan Ingram

{4:12 minutes to read}  In my last blog, I wrote about the general phenomenon of the Gray Divorce. This trend is continuing to grow as adults in their 50s, 60s and older divorce their spouses, frequently after many years of marriage. There are unique issues that need to be addressed by a couple that decides to divorce at this later stage of life.

Click here to read Susan Ingram's full article...

In Memoriam: Sydell S. Sloan – A Divorce & Family Mediation Pioneer
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Authored by , re: MEDIATION, on .

{4:36 minutes to read} Our mediation community has lost one of our own. And I have lost a dear friend and mentor. Sydell Sloan passed away on Friday, September 2nd, peacefully and surrounded by her loved ones. For those of us who did not know she was ill, this came as a complete shock. Her illness was sudden, as was her death. We are all still reeling from the news.

Click here to read Ada Hasloecher's full article...

It Takes 2, Baby!? Or, What Happens When Only One Person Wants the Divorce?
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Authored by , re: Family & Divorce, MEDIATION, on .
It Takes 2, Baby!? Or, What Happens When Only One Person Wants the Divorce | Rachel Alexander

{6:48 minutes to read} In New Jersey, divorce requires only one willing party. So what about the other party? The one who doesn’t want the divorce? And how can this work in mediation? Mediation is sometimes believed to be an alternative only when both parties want divorce. I would suggest that mediation is still the best alternative, even for the party who doesn’t want to end the marriage. Because a divorce will occur, with or without the consent of the non-moving party, the question becomes not whether there will be a divorce but how it will be reached. Mediation is always the better process, but perhaps even more so for the one who hasn’t had the opportunity to initiate the divorce.

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Make Up 3 Stories
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Authored by , re: MEDIATION, Miscellaneous, on .
Make Up 3 Stories by Carolyn Parr

Like Paris, Washington, DC is a city of outdoor cafes. One of my favorite things to do while sipping a margarita at Guapo’s is to make up stories about the people passing by. It’s fun to do with a friend. Recently, for instance, a clean-shaven, neatly dressed brown-skinned man with straight hair walked by. He wore a blue dress shirt, open at the neck, with his sleeves rolled up. He looked 30-ish, serious, focused as he entered Starbucks next door.

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