Category: Family & Divorce

Divorce Financial Considerations with a Special Needs Child
avatar


Authored by , re: Family & Divorce, on .
Divorce Financial Considerations with a Special Needs Child | Susan Ingram

{4:18 minutes to read} In my last blog, I discussed the governmental benefits that are available to a child or young adult with special needs. When I meet with my couples in divorce mediation, I need to first make sure they understand the public benefits their child is entitled to and then also discuss how these benefits relate to the many expenses (some covered by governmental benefits, some not) that arise when parents are raising a special needs child.

Click here to read Susan Ingram's full article...

The Difference Between Litigation and Mediation: It’s Personal
avatar


Authored by , re: Family & Divorce, on .
The Difference Between Litigation and Mediation: It’s Personal | Bob Bordett

People have a range of preconceptions about divorce, the law, and the courts. In reality, going before a judge to air your grievances about your soon-to-be ex-spouse is rarely as satisfying as movies and television shows may have you believe. Mediation offers a private, cost-efficient alternative to litigation—but before you choose either venue, there are some guiding principles to keep in mind:

  1. Don't expect to “win” your divorce. People hope to beat their spouses in court, but seldom is there a winner in divorce.

Click here to read Robert Bordett's full article...  

Sundays, Bloody Sundays
avatar


Authored by , re: Family & Divorce, MEDIATION, Parenting, on .
Sundays, Bloody Sundays by Rachel Alexander

{4:42 minutes to read} Sundays are not known to be the bright spot of the week. Sundays, especially Sunday evenings, can be bleak for everyone, but they can be particularly difficult for the newly divorced. On Sundays, the weekend shuts its eyes, and only Monday gleams on the horizon. For most, this means a return to work or school; a putting away of our freer selves; a tucking in and straightening out in preparation for our weekday responsibilities.

Click here to read Rachel Alexander's full article...

“Cohabitation” Agreements?
avatar


Authored by , re: Family & Divorce, on .
“Cohabitation” Agreements? | Daniel R. Burns

{3:24 minutes to read} A couple planning on getting married can enter into a prenuptial agreement to deal with such issues as the distribution of marital assets, rights to the estate of the other person, how they will each support themselves if they end their marriage, and how to provide for the care and custody of any children. But what if the couple is not considering marriage but still wishes to live together? Shouldn’t they have an agreement that addresses these matters as well?

Click here to read Daniel R. Burns' full article...

Why The Mediation Process Makes Sense
avatar


Authored by , re: Family & Divorce, LAW RELATED ARTICLES, on .
Why The Mediation Process Makes Sense | Deborah E. Kaminetzky

For those who would like to resolve their dispute (whether it be a divorce or other family matters) by agreeing to terms rather than having a judge decide what is best, mediation can be a speedier, less costly and less stressful experience than a traditional litigated matter. Traditionally the parties meet with a mediator and the mediator helps them come up with a plan. The mediator will put the plan in writing called a “Memorandum of Understanding.” Should the mediator also be an attorney, they may elect to draft a legal document instead usually called an “Agreement” or “Stipulation of Settlement.”

Click here to read Deborah E. Kaminetzky's full article...

Unemployment While Negotiating an Agreement
avatar


Authored by , re: Family & Divorce, LAW RELATED ARTICLES, MEDIATION, on .
Unemployment While Negotiating an Agreement | Clare Piro

{3:48 minutes to read} Unfortunately, people who are getting divorced are not exempt from downsizing, market fluctuations, facility closings, etc. which can lead to a period of unemployment. How can divorcing couples factor in this development as they work through separating their households and assets? How do they cope with this monumental change in their lives, on top of this monumental change in their lifestyle? If one of you is unemployed, it may not be entirely within your power to resolve the situation. If the unemployment has been for an extended period of time, or if you are older in a younger or no longer relevant industry, your concerns may be magnified.

Click here to read Clare Piro's full article...

Boy, Am I Happy I’m Getting the House!
avatar


Authored by , re: Family & Divorce, on .
Boy, Am I Happy I’m Getting the House! | Don Sinkov

{3:54 minutes to read} A divorcing couple has decided how they are going to divide their assets. They really don’t need a mediator to mediate the terms because they have already decided, without knowing family law. Or how a judge might decide their case. Or what factors they need to consider.

Click here to read Don Sinkov's full article...

give the divorce process the time it needs
avatar


Authored by , re: Family & Divorce, LAW RELATED ARTICLES, MEDIATION, on .
give the divorce process the time it needs | Jennifer Safian

{3:12 minutes to read} Instant gratification… isn’t that what many of us expect in all areas of our lives? Professional as well as personal? And when we cannot get whatever it is we want at that very moment, we may often be left feeling anxious and tense. Rushing to get an instant result, however, can prevent us from making good decisions. By the time we realize that we may not have given ourselves the extra time to think things out properly, it’s too late, and we cannot take back what we created or said by wanting it “NOW.” And even if we can, we may suffer negative consequences from having to undo what we rushed into.

Click here to read Jennifer Safian's full article...

Governmental Benefits and the Special Needs Child
avatar


Authored by , re: Family, Family & Divorce, on .
 Governmental Benefits and the Special Needs Child | Susan Ingram

{2:48 minutes to read} In my next blog I will be discussing the various financial issues that affect the parents of a special needs child who are divorcing. Before doing that, however, I first need to describe the basic framework of governmental services and benefits that are provided to children and young adults with disabilities.

Click here to read Susan Ingram's entire article...

Should You Take Your Spouse to the Cleaners?
avatar


Authored by , re: Family & Divorce, on .
Should You Take Your Spouse to the Cleaners? | Cheryl Stein

There is often a misconception that many divorcing parties want to milk their spouse dry, leaving them to be a homeless bum in a cardboard box on the street. The overwhelming majority of divorcing parties that I’ve encountered do not fall into this category; many are scared and just want to know that, at the end of the day, they’ll get what they need. For those who DO want to milk their spouse dry, the law may not be in their favor.

Click here to read Cheryl Stein's full article...

Amidst Divorce Conflict, Parents Can Create a Secure, Co-Parenting Attachment
avatar


Authored by , re: Family & Divorce, on .
Amidst Divorce Conflict, Parents Can Create a Secure, Co-Parenting Attachment | Lauren Behrman

{Read in 3 minutes} A safe, secure co-parenting relationship is ostensibly the most important and protective gift that parents who are divorcing can provide to their children. In lieu of being consumed by the logistics of divorce, it is important for parents to develop a more secure attachment to each other in their roles as parents.

Click here to read Lauren Behrman's full article...

If You Can’t Bargain for Yourself, Maybe Mediation Isn’t for You!
avatar


Authored by , re: Family & Divorce, on .
If You Can’t Bargain for Yourself, Maybe Mediation Isn’t for You! | Don Sinkov

{3:48 minutes to read} One of the elements of a successful mediation is the client’s ability to bargain in their own self interest. Often, I have one spouse who is more concerned about what is going to happen to their soon-to-be ex-spouse than they are about themselves.

Click here to read Don Sinkov's full article...

Culling Down To The Essentials
avatar


Authored by , re: Family & Divorce, MEDIATION, on .
  Culling Down To The Essentials | Ada Hasloecher

{3:36 minutes to read} Recently a very, very close friend of our family passed away. She was my mother’s oldest and dearest friend. She was family. Her health had been deteriorating of late, but her death came as quite a shock to those of us who knew and loved her. We all called her “Darling,” because that’s what she called everyone, AND she looked like Ava and Zsa Zsa Gabor and Ivana Trump all rolled into one.

Click here to read Ada Hasloecher's full article...

Co-Mediation: Does it Make Sense?
avatar


Authored by , re: Family & Divorce, LAW RELATED ARTICLES, MEDIATION, on .
Co-Mediation: Does it Make Sense? | Gary Shaffer

{3:18 minutes to read} Mediations come in different flavors. Most typical is a single mediator who meets with the parties and includes joint as well as individual sessions. Co-mediation is sometimes used in divorce or family matters, usually with a male and female mediator working with a male and female couple. The thought is that such an arrangement will lessen the possibility or the perception of gender bias. Experienced mediators are careful to avoid any bias as best they can or are at least able to pick up when a particular spouse/partner is sensing some bias.

Click here to read Gary Shaffer's full article...

Don’t Try This at Home! Part 2
avatar


Authored by , re: Family & Divorce, on .

{2:30 minutes to read} When couples come to me seeking divorce mediation, the first thing we do is meet for a consultation. This meeting is important because it gives clients a chance to meet me and have their questions answered. I go over the divorce mediation process with them and explain the services that I provide. I also give a very brief overview of the kinds of things we will talk about in divorce mediation: parenting plans, real estate, assets, liabilities, etc.

Click here to read Melissa Burns' full article...

Business Valuation in the Mediation Process
avatar


Authored by , re: Family & Divorce, on .
Business Valuation in the Mediation Process | Sandy Balick

{3:36 minutes to read} This is a second installment on the subject of business valuation to assist divorcing spouses in the property settlement process. It’s common for divorcing spouses to engage in asset trading (a court-ordered distributive award is essentially such a tradeoff). To be a good trader a spouse should be equipped with a reasonably informed idea of an asset’s value. Since the parties in mediation do not have to provide expert testimony (often conflicting) to enable a court to make an award, more and frequently less expensive valuation options may be available.

Click here to read Sanford E. Balick's full article...

the communication effect of mediation
avatar


Authored by , re: Family & Divorce, LAW RELATED ARTICLES, on .
the communication effect of mediation | Jennifer Safian

{3:54 minutes to read} Couples coming to resolve their divorce through mediation are often not on the same page. One person can be more advanced in the process, thinking about getting divorced for a long time, while the other person is barely able to accept the idea of a separation, let alone think about the “D word.” Or it may be that, because of very different personalities and styles of communication, the parties are unable to have a calm and productive conversation. The process can only go as fast as the slowest party.

Click here to read Jennifer Safian's full article...

The Stark Reality of a Separation Agreement
avatar


Authored by , re: Family & Divorce, LAW RELATED ARTICLES, on .
The Stark Reality of a Separation Agreement | Clare Piro

{3:54 minutes to read} I met recently with a couple (I’ll call them “Mary” and “John”) to review their Separation Agreement. All went well, with a few minor changes agreed upon during our meeting. Then, towards the end of the Agreement, a provision came up for review at which John expressed surprise. Mary and I were perplexed. This had not only been discussed fully at a previous session, but over the course of several months, had appeared in writing in:

  • A summary of the meeting;
  • A summary of the terms agreed upon; and
  • 1st, 2nd and 3rd drafts of the Agreement.

Click here to read Clare Piro's full article....

Protection for Children from The Process of Divorce
avatar


Authored by , re: Family & Divorce, on .
Protection for Children from The Process of Divorce | Armand & Robbin D'Alo

Looking at the financial side of divorce, children can become the inadvertent or intentional focus of financial negotiations. They may also become the victims of negative arguments between adults in divorce. A child seeing a parent degrading the other parent can be devastating to that child. In the video “Split,” we see some children that withdraw from conflict and make up their own worlds to live in. Some become confused and do not have a solid emotional base from which to operate.

Click here to read Armand & Robbin D'Alo's full article...

Dave’s Divorce Dictionary: Guilt
avatar


Authored by , re: Family & Divorce, LAW RELATED ARTICLES, on .
Dave’s Divorce Dictionary: Guilt | David Kellem

David’s Divorce Dictionary: G is for Guilt Definition: in no-fault divorce, the courts do not adjudicate legal guilt or innocence. But emotional guilt can play a powerful role in the outcome of a divorce settlement. Guilt can be a judgment that a divorcee imposes on him or herself, or it can be a force of manipulation hoisted by one spouse upon the other. Either way, it should have no place in how one negotiates a settlement—it always works against the interest of the party who feels guilty.

Click here to read David Kellem's full article...

Is There Room For Other Professionals in Mediation?
avatar


Authored by , re: Family & Divorce, MEDIATION, Miscellaneous, on .
Is There Room For Other Professionals in Mediation? | by Rachel Alexander

{3:18 minutes to read} People going through divorce often discover they need more help than they initially imagined. Not only are they divorcing, but they now need:

  • Their own health insurance;
  • Life insurance to secure child support/alimony obligations;
  • Therapy to support the period of adjustment;
  • A real estate agent to list the home or find a new one;
  • A mortgage broker to refinance the home;

Click Here to Read Rachel Alexander's Full Article....

How to Mitigate the Non-Constructive Results of Confrontation: Tips for Professionals
avatar


Authored by , re: Family & Divorce, MENTAL HEALTH, Therapy, on .
How to Mitigate the Non-Constructive Results of Confrontation: Tips for Professionals | Jeff Zimmerman

{Read in 2 minutes} Confrontation is often interpreted as an attack. In counseling scenarios, regardless of what the professional therapist or mediator is confronting (feelings, ideas, logic, etc.), the client’s response is generally to do one of three things: fight, flee, or freeze.

Click here to read Jeff Zimmerman's full article...

Family Does Not End with Divorce
avatar


Authored by , re: Family & Divorce, on .
Family Does Not End with Divorce | Armand & Robbin D'Alo

In our last divorce mediation article, we described a pattern that we’ve discovered which helps couples get through the divorce process successfully. The pattern, F-A-C-C-T®, is comprised of 5 parts. This month we are concentrating on the first element, Family Re-Formation. Getting divorced is tough. Couples who once shared dreams and hopes are hurt, angry, and disillusioned. Some are looking for justice and support. They want to be treated fairly, but the court system is not set up to be fair.

Click here to read Armand & Robbin D'Alo's full article...

The Taxes They Are A-Changing
avatar


Authored by , re: Family & Divorce, on .
The Taxes They Are A-Changing | Robert Bordett

Time flies when you’re having fun; here we find ourselves in a new year, with new challenges ahead—and of course our taxes are due. So let’s bring you up to date on some tax changes that we know of. (Remember this year could bring other tax changes that we don’t know about at this time).

One big change is that 1099s have to be into the IRS by January 31st of his year. In years past, they needed to be sent to the individual by January 31st, but into the IRS by February 28th.

Click here to read Robert Bordett's full article...  

Parenting Arrangements for Special Needs Children
avatar


Authored by , re: Family & Divorce, MEDIATION, on .
Parenting Arrangements for Special Needs Children | Susan Ingram

{3:32 minutes to read} When I’m mediating with parents who have a special needs child, I view myself as being on a “fact finding mission.” What do I mean by that? In addition to performing my other mediator responsibilities, my role is to gather as much information as I can about the couple’s special needs child, and how that child’s disability relates to each of the parents’ lives, as well as to any other siblings in the family. Clearly, these family relationships are often more complex than families without a special needs child.

Click here to read Susan Ingram's full article...

Why Do People Get Divorced?
avatar


Authored by , re: Family & Divorce, MEDIATION, on .

{6:12 minutes to read} First, it should be said, no one divorces lightly. No one has ever walked into my office and declared: “We heard there was a special on divorce. We weren’t considering it, but this deal is too incredible to pass up!” No one comes in because they’ve just had a bad day or are bored. Couples thinking about divorce are despairing. Divorce is an action of last resort.

Click here to read Rachel Alexander's full article...

Kids Need a Parent, Not a Playmate
avatar


Authored by , re: Family & Divorce, on .
Kids Need a Parent, Not a Playmate | Don Sinkov

{2:54 minutes to read} So what is a “Disney Dad,” you ask? A Disney Dad, in short, is a dad who spends his visitation time entertaining his child like a friend with no rules or boundaries. Visitation turns into a free-for-all party atmosphere. This may be because the father feels he has very little time with the child, so he wants the child’s memory of that time with dad to be a fun one. I get that, but that’s really not what a parent’s role is, is it?

Click here to read Don Sinkov's full article...

do we file for divorce before starting mediation?
avatar


Authored by , re: Family & Divorce, LAW RELATED ARTICLES, on .
do we file for divorce before starting mediation? | Jennifer Safian

{3:06 minutes to read} When a couple decides that they want to divorce, there is often some confusion as to when they should file in court. Here are the most frequently asked questions regarding the filing process and its effect on a couple’s ability to mediate their divorce. Do we have to file for divorce in court before starting the mediation process? The answer to this question is no; people need not file in court before they start the mediation process, nor do they need to worry about filing in court themselves at any point.

Click here to read Jennifer Safian's full article....

I Just Want What I Would Get in Court
avatar


Authored by , re: Family & Divorce, LAW RELATED ARTICLES, on .
I Just Want What I Would Get in Court | Clare Piro

{3:12 minutes to read} There are so many sources of information available to someone in the process of divorce:

  • Attorney consultation;
  • Financial divorce professional consultation;
  • The internet;
  • Their friend, hairdresser, cousin, sister or co-worker .
Some are clearly less reliable than others. In fact, it’s rare for me to see clients who haven’t received some version of what they believe their rights and obligations under the law to be. This information can take on enormous importance to them if they believe it is “the law,” especially if it benefits them. Needless to say, when the information is inaccurate or is based upon a totally different set of facts and circumstances, it can lead to a mindset that is not particularly helpful in mediation.

Click here to read Clare Piro's full article...