Category: Family & Divorce

Ungrateful and Pissed Off? A Curmudgeon’s Survival Guide for Thanksgiving
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Ungrateful and Pissed Off? A Curmudgeon’s Survival Guide for Thanksgiving | Rachel Alexander

{6:00 minutes to read} Don’t look now, but here comes Thanksgiving! When you are already in survival mode, a holiday can add insult to injury. If you are bracing for the holidays as a newly divorced family, maybe spending your first Thanksgiving without your kids or extended family, “celebrating” anything can seem absurd. Forced festivities can increase the sense of what’s missing and highlight not only what you are not grateful for, but what you’re actually pretty pissed off about.

Click here to read Rachel Alexander's full article...

What is the Difference Between Co-Parenting and Parallel Parenting?
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What is the Difference Between Co-Parenting and Parallel Parenting? | Susan Ingram

{3:12 minutes to read} There are two basic concepts that describe the way in which parents raise their children following a divorce. These approaches are significantly different, and in fact, are at opposite ends of the parenting spectrum. One approach is referred to as Cooperative Parenting and the other as Parallel Parenting.

Click here to read Susan Ingram's full article...

Why Schedule a Mediation Consultation?
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Why Schedule a Mediation Consultation? | Ada Hasloecher

{3:30 minutes to read}  There is no doubt that mediation is a lot less costly than litigation in every way – financially, emotionally and time-wise. The three main reasons people choose mediation are:

  1. They want to do things as amicably as possible;
  2. They want to do what is in the best interest of their children; and
  3. They want to save money.

Click here to read Ada Hasloecher's full article...

Negotiating a Prenuptial Agreement Doesn’t Have to Feel Like Hell
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Authored by , re: Family & Divorce, LAW RELATED ARTICLES, Marriage, on .

The prenup was hell, but in the end it was almost as if that document became a repository for our anxieties, holding on to them so we didn’t have to.

~Abby Mims

The above quote comes from an article in The New York Times titled “Prenup Is a Four-Letter Word.” In the article, the author Abby Mims writes about her experience being asked to sign a prenuptial agreement. She and her fiancé had been together for a number of years and already had a child when they decided to marry — but the fiancé wanted a prenup.

Click here to read Andrea Vacca's full article...

Should You Mediate, Collaborate or Litigate Your Marital Issues?
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Should You Mediate, Collaborate or Litigate Your Marital Issues? | Gayle Rosenblum

The vast majority of divorces and other family law-related issues end up settling. In this article, I will discuss how a settlement can occur in mediation, collaborative law, and yes, even litigation.

Mediation is a process in which two individuals must be ready, willing, and able participants to subject themselves to mediation. It involves a neutral party as a mediator, and that person may be an attorney — or not — who helps these two individuals resolve their differences. The key requirement is that there must be two willing participants. If only one is willing, mediation is not the right process.

Click here to read Gayle Rosenblum's full article...

Tax Tips for the Recently Divorced
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Tax Tips for the Recently Divorced | Bob Bordett

We are only 10 weeks away from the end of the year. What does that mean for people who have gotten divorced in 2017? It means you have to get ready to file your tax returns for the year ending 2017 by April 16, 2018 (April 15 falls on a Sunday so you can file your return on April 16) or extend it. Remember, just because you extend it, you still have to pay any tax that you owe by April 16, 2018.

Click here to read Robert Bordett's full article... 

New Tax Treatment of Maintenance and Implications for Divorcing Couples
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New Tax Treatment of Maintenance and Implications for Divorcing Couples | Deborah E. Kaminetzky

There is a lot of buzz lately about possible changes to the tax treatment of Spousal Maintenance. The silver lining in the spousal maintenance cloud is that the payor can take the amount off their taxes as a deduction. The person who receives the maintenance has had to pay the taxes on it as income.

Click here to read Deborah E. Kaminetzky's full article...

Text-Mess: It’s “What?!?!” For Dinner
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Text-Mess: It’s “What?!?!” For Dinner | Fabienne Swartz

{2:56 minutes to read} You’ve heard it before, and probably even said it: Today’s kids are not interacting with each other in the real world enough. They’ve replaced playing outside with their friends with playing on the computer, XBox, iPad, and who knows what else. When they communicate with each other, it’s through text messages. I feel like there’s a whole skill set of discerning other people’s moods that has atrophied in recent times.

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Parties in Dispute: Their Wants vs. Interests and Needs
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Parties in Dispute: Their Wants vs. Interests and Needs | Bart J. Eagle

{4:15 minutes to read} In a mediation, after learning the basic facts and issues in dispute, the mediator will work to identify each party’s interests and needs; this is different than a party’s wants.” If a party has not already focused on her interests and needs, the mediator will help her do so. In this way, the mediator can help each party craft proposals that address her interests and needs and those of her adversary. The beginning of the road to settlement.

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College Process Strategies for Divorced Families
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College Process Strategies for Divorced Families | Lauren Behrman

When the college-age children of divorced families begin their journey out of the nest and onto the quad, the best gift to give them is the peace of mind that comes in knowing their foundation is still there. The last thing they want—as they’re preparing for their SATs, ACTs and writing their essays—is to worry about the conflict between mom and dad regarding which colleges they can think about, because mom and dad have not come to an agreement in advance.

Click here to read Lauren Behrman's full article...

Moving Forward – Part II
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Moving Forward - Part II | Clare Piro

{4:12 minutes to read} As I described in Part I of this post, it’s not unusual to feel completely overwhelmed upon hearing that your spouse wants a divorce. You think the last thing you are capable of doing is making good decisions about your children and your finances. But then you keep getting pushed by your spouse to start the divorce ASAP. You can tell your spouse that you need some time to process everything and get the support that you may need to move forward. Then, be reasonable in providing a time frame for when you will start, and stick to it.

Click here to read Clare Piro's full article...

What About Us? Divorcing Couples Who Don’t Have Children – Part 4
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What About Us? Divorcing Couples Who Don’t Have Children – Part 4 | Ada Hasloecher

{4:30 minutes to read} In the 3 previous parts of this series, we’ve identified 4 categories of divorcing couples without children (Part 1), covered couples married 1-3 years (Part 2), and couples married 3-10 years (Part 3). In Part 4, I am combining categories 3 & 4, as they have a tendency to overlap. Married for 10+ years with no children I would say at the outset that marriages over 10 years generally have a huge emotional component to them in addition to a more complex financial investment.

Click here to read Ada Hasloecher's entire article...

When Love and Marriage Don’t Go Together like a Horse and Carriage….What’s Left?
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When Love and Marriage Don’t Go Together like a Horse and Carriage….What’s Left? | Cheryl Stein

Marriage is inherently deemed an economic partnership, according to the law, and upon its dissolution, the accumulated assets and interests are to be distributed on the basis of the economic needs and circumstances of the parties. Equitable distribution in New York is fact specific, and not a 50/50 split, like it is in the community property states, such as California, Arizona, Nevada, and Alaska.

Click here to read Cheryl Stein's full article...

Tax Q&A for Recently Divorced People
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Tax Q&A for Recently Divorced People | Bob Bordett

Divorce is one of the most painful experiences anyone can go through. In addition to the emotional component, financial issues weigh heavily on the minds of the parties to any divorce. Unfortunately, there are just some things that don’t follow any logic and you just have to know. Here are a few of the most common:

  • What filing status options do I have if I am separated from my spouse? 

Click here to read Robert Bordett's full article... 

Collaborative Divorce Following Financial Betrayal
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I recently presented a workshop entitled “Collaborating in the Face of Financial Betrayal” at the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals 18th Annual Networking and Educational Forum, alongside my colleagues, Certified Divorce Financial Analyst, Ivy Menchel and Divorce Coach, Abby Rosmarin. While this workshop was geared to the divorce professionals in the room, there are many lessons that anyone who has dealt with financial betrayal in his or her own marriage — and is contemplating divorce — should understand.

Click here to read Andrea Vacca's entire article...

It Starts with a Kiss
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It Starts with a Kiss | Fabienne Swartz

{2:57 minutes to read} I love coaching, because it exposes me to so many excellent people, both as my clients and as my colleagues. In fact, it was when I was speaking with a colleague that she introduced what I thought was a simple way to improve people’s married lives. It’s about the couple kissing passionately every day — and not a peck on the lips, but an intense kiss for at least 30 seconds. In other words, a “French” kiss (full disclosure: I am from Belgium and we just call them kisses).

Click here to read Fabienne Swartz's full article...

What are the Foundational Requirements for Mediation?
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 What are the Foundational Requirements for Mediation? | Susan Ingram

{2:48 minutes to read} When you take it down to the bare bones, there are really only two essential elements that must be present in order for a mediation to be viable and ultimately productive: Willingness to Dialogue and Full Disclosure. Willingness to Dialogue First, there needs to be a basic willingness to come together and talk to each other.

Click here to read Susan Ingram's entire article...

5 Common Pitfalls to Avoid In Your Child Custody Case
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5 Common Pitfalls to Avoid In Your Child Custody Case | Joshua Hecht

Child custody proceedings are difficult and stressful for both parents. With emotions running high, parents often unwittingly make poor choices that adversely affect both their children and their case. While not exhaustive, here are some common pitfalls to avoid in your child custody proceeding: Denigrating or Disparaging the Other Parent The courts recognize the obvious: that children thrive best when they have a healthy relationship with both parents. Nothing undermines that relationship more than when one parent one parent repeatedly denigrates or disparages the other to the child or otherwise pressures the child to choose sides.

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What’s the Difference between You Guys and an Online Service?
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What’s the Difference between You Guys and an Online Service? | Deborah E. Kaminetzky

Recently, we had a former divorce client call us with happy news! She is getting married! Both parties have children from their former relationships, professional practices and assets that they would like to go to their respective children when they pass away. Understandably, our former client was a bit concerned about what might happen should the second marriage not work out. Having experienced a divorce before, she wanted to go into this one with her eyes wide open and wanted a prenuptial agreement that would cover all the bases.

Click here to read Deborah E. Kaminetzky's full article...

David’s Divorce Dictionary: Kellems
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David’s Divorce Dictionary: Kellems | David Kellem

David’s Divorce Dictionary: K is for Kellems Definition: a mechanical gripping device used to splice the ends of steel cables in elevators so that the harder they pull away from each other, the tighter the bond gets. A Kellems grip is like that “Chinese finger torture toy” most people played with as kids—a sleeve you put between your two index fingers which gets tighter and tighter the harder you try to pull your fingers apart.

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Even Happily Married Parents Disagree
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Even Happily Married Parents Disagree | Jennifer Safian

{3:18 minutes to read} Divorcing parents who choose to have joint legal custody of their children, i.e. joint decision making, are often concerned as to what happens if they disagree on issues regarding their children. I usually begin by reminding them that happily married parents may also disagree on whether the child should:

  • Go to private or to public school;
  • Fly as an unaccompanied minor;
  • Have a cell phone at an early age;
  • Get a tattoo.
These, of course, are just a few of the many questions that may come up and cause conflict between parents.

Click here to read Jennifer Safian's full article...

Moving Forward – Part I
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Moving Forward - Part I | Clare Piro

{3:24 minutes to read} So, you just learned that your spouse had an affair, or you receive an unexpected request for a divorce. How do you react when someone you thought you knew, and your life with that person, is turned on its head? If you’re a really remarkable person, your first reaction would be to exhibit strength and grace in the face of this event that upends your world. If you’re like most of us, though, the first reaction would be a combination of sorrow, fear, anger, self-pity, self-doubt and “why me,” all of which can occur in rapid succession. In turn, you can feel completely overwhelmed and overcome with emotion.

Click here to read Clare Piro's full article...

5 Key Elements of the Mediation Process
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5 Key Elements of the Mediation Process | Susan Ingram

{2:48 minutes to read} There are two principal aspects to the role a mediator plays when helping couples going through divorce mediation. One has to do with the process and the other has to do with the substance.

Process relates to the framework and ground rules that are established by the mediator so that the necessary conversations can take place and move along, ultimately to resolution.

Click here to read Susan Ingram's full article...

What About Us? Divorcing Couples Who Don’t Have Children – Part 3
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What About Us? Divorcing Couples Who Don’t Have Children – Part 3 | Ada Hasloecher

{4:30 minutes to read} Part 2 of this series was concerned with couples who have only been married for 1-3 years. In this part, we look at lengthier marriages, lasting 3-10 years. Married for 3-10 years: You may think that these couples are similar to couples who have been married for a short time but that is not generally the case.

Click here to read Ada Hasloecher's full article...

Dear Anthony and Huma: Please Make Court the Last Resort for Your Divorce
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Authored by , re: Family & Divorce, LAW RELATED ARTICLES, on .

On September 25th, Anthony Weiner was sentenced to 21 months in prison for sending sexually explicit text messages to a minor. In this article I do not wish to comment on his crime or sentencing, but rather the interesting dynamic in court between him and his wife, Huma Abedin, during their divorce proceedings in the weeks leading up to his sentencing.

Click here to read Andrea Vacca's full article...