Author Archives: Rachel Alexander

avatar

About Rachel Alexander

Rachel Alexander is an attorney, mediator & founder of The Alexander Mediation Group in New York & New Jersey.
EMAIL: rachel@alexandermediation.com
BIO: About Rachel

Why People Divorce: The Breakdown that Precedes the Breakup
avatar


Authored by , re: Family & Divorce, on .
Why People Divorce: The Breakdown that Precedes the Breakup | Rachel Alexander

{4:12 minutes to read} As a divorce mediator, I’m often asked: Why do people get divorced? What went wrong? Money issues? Infidelity? Grew apart? Financial stress and diverging values around money certainly strain a marriage. It’s also safe to say infidelity neither strengthens trust nor solidifies relationships. But my working hypothesis is that, usually, there are certain other things that deteriorate first. Query: What makes a marriage fail? What makes a relationship thrive?

Click here to read Rachel Alexander's full article...

Whose Side Are You On? The Same Side!
avatar


Authored by , re: Family & Divorce, on .
Whose Side Are You On? The Same Side! | Rachel Alexander

{3:00 minutes to read} Not long ago, I heard something fairly remarkable in my mediation session. To set the scene (semi-fictionalized for the sake of confidentiality), last spring, my clients had an issue with childcare and had to bring their children—an 8-year-old boy and 9-year-old girl—along to mediation. While I don’t recommend it, in the particular circumstances, it was a reasonable option for these children. The session was at my home office during the summer, so the children were able to sit outside and mostly entertain themselves with electronic devices and one another.

Click here to read Rachel Alexander's full article...

Alimony Ain’t Easy!
avatar


Authored by , re: Family & Divorce, on .
Alimony Ain’t Easy! | Rachel Alexander

As a divorce mediator and family law attorney, I am often asked, “What’s the formula to calculate alimony?” In New Jersey, there is none. We do have a new alimony reform law adopted in September 2014, about which there has been (and continues to be) a lot of confusion. This blog post looks at the current factors used to determine alimony.

Click here to read Rachel Alexander's full article...

Creating a Healthy Divorce Narrative for your Kids
avatar


Authored by , re: Family & Divorce, on .
Creating a Healthy Divorce Narrative for your Kids | Rachel Alexander

There are a lot of recommendations about how to tell your children you are getting divorced. This article concentrates on what to convey to your kids after and about the divorce, and the reasons for your divorce in an ongoing way. In mediation, I counsel divorcing and post-divorce clients on this topic. We discuss and develop an agreed-upon narrative to be shared with the children.

Click here to read Rachel Alexander's full article...

Parentification
avatar


Authored by , re: Family & Divorce, on .
Parentification | Rachel Alexander

Childhood, until the mid-18th century, it is commonly believed, was not conceptualized as a particular stage in life. As reflected in pre-19th-century child portraiture, children were depicted, through dress and context, as miniature adults. While we may have moved away from rigid expectations of young children behaving like grown-ups, we still tend to glorify the precocious child who gracefully demonstrates mastery of adult tasks or behaves with adult aplomb.

Click here to read Rachel Alexander's full article...

The Dissipation of Marital Assets
avatar


Authored by , re: Miscellaneous, on .
The Dissipation of Marital Assets | Rachel Alexander

{4:31 minutes to read} Dissipation of marital assets is an important topic arising in matrimonial law and mediation. Towards the end of the marriage — (during the period when the marital relationship has irrevocably broken down) — during this period, when one spouse uses marital assets for his or her sole benefit, these expenditures may constitute a dissipation of marital assets. Dissipation must be evaluated based on the circumstances of each particular case.

Click here to read Rachel Alexander's full article...

What Is ESP in New Jersey, and Do You Need a 6th Sense to Benefit?
avatar


Authored by , re: Family & Divorce, on .
What Is ESP in New Jersey, and Do You Need a 6th Sense to Benefit? | Rachel Alexander

{5:36 minutes to read} When divorcing couples are on the (complex) litigation track, at a certain point in the process, they’ll be scheduled for an ESP. No clairvoyants or mediums needed. In New Jersey, ESP stands for Early Settlement Panel. ESP varies from county to county, each county having a slightly different preparation requirement and way of running things.

Click here to read Rachel Alexander's full article...

Create a Family Manifesto: Bring Unity by Developing Your Own Rules of Law
avatar


Authored by , re: Family & Divorce, LAW RELATED ARTICLES, on .

Straddling two addresses is difficult enough for an adult, but for a child who has limited control over his environment, and is tasked to follow the rules of others, it can be a losing proposition. Each household may have its own personality, ground rules (spoken or unspoken), […]  

Click here to read Rachel Alexander's full article...

The Power of “I don’t know”
avatar


Authored by , re: Family & Divorce, LAW RELATED ARTICLES, on .

“Whoever cannot seek the unforeseen sees nothing, for the known way is an impasse.” Heraclitus There is nothing like divorce to overwhelm otherwise cheerful people with negativity. Negativity, overwhelm and fear are three henchmen well known to ride together, but recently I’ve noticed a fourth figure riding […]  

Click here to read Rachel Alexander's full article...