Looking at the financial side of divorce, children can become the inadvertent or intentional focus of financial negotiations. They may also become the victims of negative arguments between adults in divorce. A child seeing a parent degrading the other parent can be devastating to that child. In the video “Split,” we see some children that withdraw from conflict and make up their own worlds to live in. Some become confused and do not have a solid emotional base from which to operate.
In our last divorce mediation article, we described a pattern that we’ve discovered which helps couples get through the divorce process successfully. The pattern, F-A-C-C-T®, is comprised of 5 parts. This month we are concentrating on the first element, Family Re-Formation. Getting divorced is tough. Couples who once shared dreams and hopes are hurt, angry, and disillusioned. Some are looking for justice and support. They want to be treated fairly, but the court system is not set up to be fair.
Over our years as mediators, we have seen couples struggle with the emotional and financial aspects of divorce. Some couples survive the process relatively unscathed and successfully move on with their lives. Others continue to wallow in bitterness and anger which negatively affects their ability to heal. From our observations, we have noticed a pattern that, if followed, can help a couple, their children, and extended families get through the divorce process successfully. We call the pattern F-A-C-C-T®.